Saturday, October 11, 2008

10 Reasons Why I Hate The Phillies

#10. The Fans. Are there any more obnoxious fans than Philly fans? They boo their own star players. They boo Santa Claus. They cheer when an opposing player gets hurt. Enough said.

#9. Mike Schmidt. Schmidt may be the best 3rd basemen ever who is not nicknamed A-Rod. Still, his 500th homerun came at Three Rivers off of the Bucs Don Robinson in the top of the 9th to win the game.

#8. The Lehigh Valley Iron Pigs. For 17 years the Phillies Triple A team was in my hometown, Moosic, Pa. Then they went to Lehigh and we get the Yankees. Bastards.

#7. Comcast Sportsnet. The Phillies games air on Comcast Sportsnet which is not available on Direct TV. I don't have Direct TV, I have Comcast. Anyone who is a Comcast subscriber knows that Comcast sucks. Man, I should switch to Direct TV.

#6. Crab Fries. Chickie's & Pete's crab fries are a fan favorite. French fries with Old Bay seasoning, Yum. If you want some, be prepared to stand in line for 3 innings because they are slower than shit.

#5. There is nothing to do before or after the game. Unlike PNC Park, Citizens Bank Park has nothing around it within walking distance. There are no bars, restaurants, or strip clubs. Just get in your car and leave.

#4. The Phillie Phanatic. WTF is this thing? The Parrot is much better. Plus the Phanatic has no street cred like the Parrot. Where did all the NL Superstars go for their cocaine in the mid 1980's? You got it, The Parrot.

#3. The Longest Losing Streak In Sports. The Phillies had 16 consecutive losing seasons from 1933 to 1948. Our Pirates will break that record next year. Take that!

#2. The Schuylkill Expressway. Aka "Surekill Expressway". Why does it always take 45 minutes to go 5 miles for a Phillies game, no less?

#1. The National League Central. I grew up hating the Mets and Phillies. Now with the Pirates in the Central, we only play them twice a year. I just don't have that same hatred towards the Astros and Brewers, and I miss that.

What that being said, I'm still a Pennsylvania guy so BEAT L.A.! (hope I didn't touch a nerve)


Joseph said...

You forgot to mention Philadelphia's inferiority complex: they wish they were Scrantonians.

GM-Carson said...

Dude you gotta be shitting me, why hate on my Phils? You might hate their fans, but you know you wish PNC was packed with rabid paying fans like the Cit is.

Joseph said...

You know, gm-carson's got a point. I think this particular post is based almost exclusively on envy. Also, if you haven't seen the clip of Sarah "batshit crazy" Palin getting booed at the Flyer's game, then I suggest you take a peek - Philadelphia fans done good.

Brad said...

What else can it be besides envy? The Phillies are playing ball in October and I can name about 5 players on the Pirates. Carson, I've been in PNC when it was packed and let me tell you, it's no fun standing in line for 20 minutes to cash your check. Joseph, I did see Palin get booed at the Flyers game. I hate the Flyers... I think I found a new post to write about.

Andrew Vazzano said...

Go Mets!

Phuck the Phillies!

Brad said...

Muck The Fets!

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

Yeah, I feel like there's a bunch of good reasons to hate the Phils, and you didn't really touch on the good ones. Specifically, you only gave "the fans" one spot. If it were my list, I think the fans would take up about 7-8 spots on this list.

Sure, every true sports fan is amped when their team is doing well or gets into the postseason.

Sure, every true sports fan is bummed when their team isn't doing well or their first baseman strikes out almost 200 times (every season) or their left fielder has a bad summer offensively or their second baseman biffs a ground ball losing a key game at the end of the season a couple years ago.

Sure, all sports fans feel this way. But there's no one else that you hear about it from more than Phillie fans. Yeah, it's pretty annoying to hear you guys whine and boo your own team when they suck, but I sure as hell don't want to hear how awesome they are when they're doing well.

That's why you- or anyone else- should hate the Phillies.

Anonymous said...

your a major hater.
get over whatever issue u have with the phillies and get a life.
we only need one reason to hate you and its that your phucking idiot

Brad said...

Tough words from Anonymous! Pussy, leave your name!

philliesphan26 said...

alright everyone.
your all just jealous that you aren't World Series Champions.
and the Mets suck by the way.

Delaware Boiler said...

10,000 + losses and still counting. Only team in proffesional sports with that many.

Anonymous said...

10. we atleast put fans in the stadium unlike the pirates
9. pirates have had only one amazing player which he died in a plane crash
8. Who cares about Triple-A o wait that's right the pirates basically are a triple-a team
7. I agree but your a pirates fan so why do you care
6. The waits worth it
5. your a phuckin idiot there's mcfadden's which is attached to the ballpark open 24-7 there's chickies and petes less then a mile and there's geno's and pat's cheesestakes
4. The pirates have no mascot
3. We've been in more world series then you have since the pirates got rid of barry bonds
2. I've never waited that long in traffic for a phillies game not even that long to go to the shore
1. you should be glad that the braves are you beacuse when the divisions changed the braves were the national league dynasty and in 93 the phillies were in the ws and they beat the braves
get your facts straightttt

Cheesebose said...

Actually the Pirates have been to the world series more times than the Phillies. In fact they've won more world series than the Phillies (5 wins compared to the Phillies 2). And I could care less about both teams, though I do hate Philly fans, well the ones who don't know a thing about baseball and talk smack about every other franchise despite the fact they can't even name their own starting lineup. By the way, The Yankees are going to win the whole thin this year so don't even worry about the National League Championship.. And no I'm no a Yankees fan, in fact I HATE the Yankees. I'm a proud fan of the Baltimore Orioles even though they're the worst team in the American League at the moment.

Anonymous said...

The Illiey retards: They have lost more games than any baseball team, period. No team, as of 2010, has lost 10,000 games, except for the Phillies- who have lost far more. It technically doesn't get any worse. Quite simply, the Phillies are the worst team in baseball, and debatably in all of sports

Anonymous said...

What the fuck was that? Are you gonna tell people why you hate the phillies (which you obviously don't) or what you don't like about their ball park? I could come up with 100 LEGITIMATE reasons why your team and fans are made up of classless pieces of trash. I have never seen such classless fans in all my life (and I live in New York and deal with Yankee fans on a daily basis).The entire city is shit. And way to go Charlie. Stealing signs for the umpteenth time. A bunch of pieces of trash. Anyone who likes the phillies, or even lives in the state of Pennsylvania for that matter, should be fucking euthanized. Fuck the phillies. Go Mets!

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