Saturday, May 14, 2011

I Hate You Bernie Brewer and Your Little Slide Too

Miller Park-----the House of Horrors for the Pittsburgh Pirates. With last nights 5-2 defeat the Buccos have now dropped 7 in a row in Milwaukee.

The Bucs have dropped 29 of the last 31 in Bratwurst land.

At one point last year they had a 22 game loss streak going at Bernie the Brewer's house.

In celebration of the Pirates ability to make the Brewers look like the 1961 NY Yankees (.802 winning percentage at home), here is the List of things that occur more often than the Pirates winning in Milwaukee.

-Anthony Morelli starts for a professional football team in Pittsburgh.

-An opposing pitcher drives in a run against the Bucs...check that, this one actually happens a lot.

-Snooki finishes War and Peace.

-A Ravens fan with a sense of humor is discovered.

-James Neal scores...alright that was too easy.

-Charlie Sheen's neighbors ask him to babysit.

-The Steelers have an "issue-free" off season.

-Ronny Cedeno hits a home run....wait didn't that happen last night....scratch that.....Pedro Alvarez hits a Home Run.

-One of the weirdos on To Catch A Predator (after he takes a seat) tells Chris Hansen, "This is not the first time I've ever done something like this, I have actually done this many times before."

-ESPN goes a summer without showing file footage of Brett Favre, wearing cargo shorts of course, throwing footballs to high school kids.

-Clint Hurdle opts against throwing out the bunt sign.

-Ron Swanson votes Democrat.

-You find a Phillies fan from before the Bush W presidency.

-Sammy and Ronnie give relationship advice.

-Charlie Morton is described as having #AcousticStuff.

When I think of this frustrating losing streak at Miller Park, two quotes in two movies from roughly the same genre come to mind.

The first....I think Ace Ventura says it all:

The second is the The Exorcist, who can forget the look of confidence Father Merrin has as he enters the house; the only way to end a streak is to get rid of your demons and, "What an excellent day for an exorcism."

Look out Braun.............Lets Go Bucs

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